When Every Part Has a Story: Supporting Healing in Resource Therapy

Clinical Resource Therapist with a client discussing Resource Therapy in session

As therapists, we sit with complexity every day. Clients often describe feeling pulled in different directions. One part of them wants change, another holds back. One part longs for connection, another expects harm.

We are often witnessing a system of resource states. It is not resistance. These states do exactly what they have learned to do to manage and survive.

For me, Resource Therapy (RT) has offered a way of understanding this. It is not something to fix. It is something to listen to. My work has shaped how I understand the internal system.

Clinical Resource Counsellor in her office using parts work with a client
Jaclyn Hall, Clinical Resource Therapist and Trainer

It has also shaped how I respond to the present resource state. When we slow down, what becomes clear is this: every resource state has a story.

I’ve never been drawn to ways of working that centre heavily on diagnosis or pathologising. It’s not that understanding patterns isn’t important but framing people through what is “wrong” with them has never felt like it honours the depth of what they’ve lived through.

I’ve always been interested in understanding what’s happened to a person, how they’ve survived, and what has supported them to get through.

Importantly, what they are now wanting to shift so they can live from a place of their own choosing, rather than from responses that may no longer be serving them.

Resource Therapy aligns deeply with this.

Resource Therapy Diagnosis


While RT includes classification of resource states, I don’t experience this as labelling the person. Rather, classification helps guide the therapeutic process. It supports the therapist in understanding the function of the part. This knowledge helps to select appropriate RT therapeutic actions.

At its core, RT is concerned with understanding function, not assigning fault.

RT understands personality as a system of resource states. At any given time, one resource state is in the conscious, the part that is present and engaging. Each resource state holds its own experiences, responses, and role within the system.

Each part has a purpose. Parts outdated behaviours or heavy emotions can easily be understood in the context of what a person has lived through.

This has influenced the way I listen. Rather than moving too quickly toward change, I am listening for which state is in the conscious, and what that state is ready to change today.

In my opinion, one of the most meaningful moments in therapy is when a resource state feels understood.

Often, what presents is not just a thought or behaviour, but a lived internal experience that has been carried, at times, for many years.

A look, a tone, a moment of disconnection can activate something younger, perhaps a resource state holding the experience of not mattering, of being too much, or not enough.

A state that learned to retreat, fight to be heard, to stay quiet, or to hold everything inside.

When we offer compassionate responses, like saying, “That makes so much sense… this state has taken on this role, and has worked to protect in this way,” we can notice a shift.

The system may soften. The urgency may reduce. Shame appears to lessen. Not because anything has been “fixed,” but because something this part carries has been understood and acknowledged. This often leads to opening a doorway to deeper healing. 



My Experience of this Parts Therapy


In my Clinical work as a therapist and supervisor of counsellors,  I have had the privilege of hearing the stories of highly insightful clients who have understood their history. Many who could see the links between what has happened and how they respond now.

Yet, they have continued to seek more from their healing journey, but something hadn’t quite clicked. 

What I have come to understand is that insight alone does not necessarily lead to change. Why? Because insight often comes from a different resource state, knowledge and not the part holding the distress and emotional pain.

Resource Therapy provides a way of working directly with the resource state holding the experience, which is where shifts may begin to occur.

This is a key component to therapeutic change.


This is especially vital in trauma work, where protective resource states are often strong. They may avoid, distract, control, or limit access to distressing material. From the outside, these may come across as barriers.

Within RT, they are understood as serving an important function. These states have developed for a reason. They are doing what they have learned to do, to protect the system.

In RT, we work with them in a trauma-informed manner. We seek to understand their role. We respect their function. We support the conditions for other resource states to come into the conscious when appropriate. This supports safety, pacing, and readiness within the work.


What this can feel like internally is not always easy to capture in clinical language. At times, it is better understood through the expressed lived experience held within a resource state.

Here is a poem written from my heart:

I have a need,  
I ask for care.  
I see your look,  
and freeze mid-air.

I know that pain—  
the silent sting,  
“I’m inconvenient,  
I don’t mean a thing.”

“Why don’t I matter?”  
races through my mind.  
I shrink, retreat,  
no safe space to find.

A smile appears:  
“hold your head up high,”  
but inside echoes  
the young one’s cry.

Healing whispers:  
You can hold them now.  
Call on your parts,  
they will show you how.

To sit with pain,  
release the shame,  
to hold them close,  
and speak their name.

Your worth is not  
their gaze, their tone—  
your feelings are valid,  
they are your own.

Sitting quietly, strengthening inside,  
finding the strength that was always mine,  

Each breath a reminder,  
each moment proof—  
healing is living  
your authentic truth.



Resource Therapy has deeply influenced the way I understand both people and the process of therapeutic change.

It has deepened my focus on listening to the system, to the resource state that is present, and to what may be needed in that moment.

We participate in this work by honouring the story of each Resource State. When that story is deeply heard, something can shift. There can be less shame, more compassion and a greater capacity for change. Not by overriding the system, but by working with it.


Written by Jaclyn Hall, Mental Health Professional
PACFA Accredited Clinical Counsellor and Supervisor  
Advanced Clinical Resource Therapist and Trainer  
EMDRAA Accredited EMDR Practitioner  
Founder and Director: Calm, Connect & Heal Therapeutic Services (Click link for Jaclyn’s website)

Thanks, Jaclyn, we appreciate your sharing your vast experience and knowledge with this insightful guest article. We appreciate hearing from other therapists’ parts therapy adventures. Want to share yours? Reach out today.

Want to learn the latest developments in parts therapy? Join us at our next training, with online and hybrid options to suit your needs. Click here for Professional Parts Therapy workshops.

➡️ If Positive Affirmations have ever made you feel Worse instead of better, it’s not you. Psychology says..

Woman standing at a ship’s wheel at sunrise representing inner psychological parts and the captain of the moment, illustrating why positive affirmations can fail and how curiosity based self talk supports change in Resource Therapy. website text www.resourcetherapy.com.au

Positive affirmations can help or hinder. This depends on which part of the inner crew is responding. Understanding this makes all the difference.

We hear phrases like “I am confident”, “I am calm”, or “I am successful” repeated often.

These phrases are treated as universal truths. It is believed they simply need enough repetition to become real. For some people, they help.

For others, they create an immediate inner reaction that sounds more like, “No, you’re not.”

If you have ever felt that tension, you are not failing at affirmations.

You are experiencing something deeply human, and very understandable when we look through both psychology and a Resource Therapy lens.

Meet the Founder of Positive Affirmations

The modern use of affirmations is often traced back to Émile Coué. He was a French pharmacist and psychologist. Coué developed the idea of conscious autosuggestion in the early twentieth century. His well-known phrase was:

“Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.”

Coué noticed that repeated inner language appeared to influence people’s expectations, motivation, and behaviour. While the language sounds simple, the principle is powerful. The way we speak to ourselves shapes where attention goes, and attention influences action.

From a Resource Therapy perspective, we might say the captains voice a part of sets the direction.

The Psychology behind Why Affirmations Backfire

One of the most common misunderstandings is the idea that affirmations work equally well for everyone. Research tells a different story.

Wood, Perunovic, and Lee (2009) found that positive self-statements may improve mood for some people. For others, it feels worse. This effect is particularly evident when the statement clashes.

If a vulnerable part feels scared or inadequate, it can create internal tension. Repeating a statement that feels untrue can lead to conflict rather than confidence.

Daniel Wegner’s research on ironic mental processes helps explain why. When we try to force the mind into a certain state, the brain automatically monitors whether we are succeeding. Ironically, this monitoring process can make the unwanted feeling more visible and stronger (Wegner, 1994, 1997).

So when a person says, “I am calm”, an anxious part may instantly respond, “But are we really????” That response is not resistance in a negative sense. It is the mind trying to keep psychological coherence.

In Resource Therapy language, a different Resource State may simply be at the wheel, and it is not convinced by the message being offered.

Why a Small shift Changes Everything

Instead of telling your inner crew what to believe, try inviting curiosity.

Rather than saying:

“I am confident.”

Try asking:

“Why am I becoming more confident?”

Your parts will listen and answer your Why.

This subtle change is supported by research on the question behaviour effect. The research shows that questions can increase motivation. They can encourage goal-consistent behaviour because the mind naturally searches for answers (Senay, Albarracín, & Noguchi, 2010).

Questions feel less like commands and more like invitations. They allow space for parts that are uncertain or protective to participate without being overridden.

My Personal Moment

Years ago, I began experimenting with this approach in my own life. Instead of repeating fixed statements about love or relationships, I shifted to gentle questions.

“Why am I attracting a deeply supportive partner?”

Nothing dramatic happened overnight. What changed was quieter and more meaningful. I noticed things differently. My wiser parts made clearer choices. I had the right parts out to respond to situations with more alignment and less fear. Read my anxiously attached parts weren’t at the helm!

And somewhere along the way, I met and built a life with the man of my dreams my husband, Chris Paulin.

It was not magic. It was the gradual alignment of intention, awareness, and behaviour and getting my inner crew on board.

What Psychology tells us about what Works

Self affirmation theory reminds us that affirmations are most effective when they connect to genuine values and identity. They are less effective when based on unrealistic positivity – lets face it the Pollyanna factor is pressure(Cohen & Sherman, 2014).

When language feels emotionally believable, the nervous system relaxes rather than argues. Our parts have choices.

This aligns beautifully with Resource Therapy principles. We do not silence the parts that feel scared, doubtful, or protective. We listen to them. We work with them. The goal is cooperation, not suppression.

Affirmations become powerful when they sound like something the inner crew can actually accept.

How to Use Affirmations in a way that feels Real

Use language that feels possible rather than exaggerated.
Turn statements into questions to invite curiosity.
Notice which Resource State is present when resistance appears.
Pair words with grounding, breath, or body awareness.
Focus on gentle direction rather than perfection.

If a phrase triggers an internal argument, pause and listen to each voice. That reaction is information, not failure.

Round Up

Positive affirmations are not about pretending everything is perfect. They are about shaping attention in a direction that supports growth. When your inner crew feels respected rather than pushed, change becomes calmer, steadier, and more sustainable.

Your mind is always listening. The real question is not whether affirmations work. The question is how you are speaking to the parts of yourself that need to feel safe enough to move forward.


Frequently Asked Questions About Positive Affirmations

Do positive affirmations really work?

They can, especially when they feel believable and align with personal values. Affirmations that feel unrealistic may create internal resistance instead of motivation.

Why do affirmations sometimes make people feel worse?

Research shows that when a statement clashes with a person’s internal beliefs, it can increase discomfort. The mind may automatically argue against what feels untrue.

What works better than traditional affirmations?

For many people, turning affirmations into questions works better because questions invite curiosity and reduce inner resistance.

How does a parts based approach help?

A parts based approach recognises that different inner states hold different perspectives. Instead of forcing change, it supports cooperation between parts, making growth feel safer and more natural.

What is the easiest way to start?

Choose one area of growth and try a gentle question such as, “Why am I getting a little better at this?” Then notice what your mind begins to show you.


References (APA Style)

Cohen, G. L., & Sherman, D. K. (2014). The psychology of change: Self affirmation and social psychological intervention. Annual Review of Psychology, 65, 333–371.

Coué, É. (1922). Self mastery through conscious autosuggestion.

Emmerson, G. (2015). Learn Resource Therapy: Clinical qualification student training manual. Old Golden Point Press.

Senay, I., Albarracín, D., & Noguchi, K. (2010). Motivating goal directed behaviour through introspective self talk: The role of the interrogative form of simple future tense. Psychological Science, 21(4), 499–504.

Wegner, D. M. (1994). Ironic processes of mental control. Psychological Review, 101(1), 34–52.

Wegner, D. M. (1997). Ironic processes of mental control. In R. S. Wyer (Ed.), Advances in social cognition (Vol. 10, pp. 1–19). Lawrence Erlbaum.

Wood, J. V., Perunovic, W. Q. E., & Lee, J. W. (2009). Positive self statements: Power for some, peril for others. Psychological Science, 20(7), 860–866.

How Memory Reconsolidation Works in Resource Therapy

advanced parts therapy informed memory reconsolidation

Have you ever wondered why some sessions lead to deep, lasting shifts while others just produce better coping, you are already thinking about memory reconsolidation. This is the brain’s natural process for updating emotional learning – and it sits at the heart of effective, evidence-informed trauma therapy.

For therapists using parts-based, trauma-informed approaches such as Resource Therapy, understanding memory reconsolidation can help us work more precisely and confidently with the “emotional brain”.

What is memory reconsolidation in therapy?

Memory reconsolidation is the process by which an existing emotional memory becomes open to change. When a significant emotional memory is reactivated, there is a brief neurobiological window in which that learning becomes “plastic” again. If – and only if – a mismatching, corrective experience is introduced during this window, the old learning can be revised rather than simply layered over with new coping strategies (Ecker, Ticic, & Hulley, 2012; Lane, Ryan, Nadel, & Greenberg, 2015).

Clients often describe the result in simple language: “It’s strange – the old reaction just isn’t there in the same way.” For trauma, attachment wounds, and long-standing shame, this is profoundly hopeful.

How Resource Therapy uses memory reconsolidation

Resource Therapy (RT) is a parts-based, trauma-informed model that maps beautifully onto memory reconsolidation. Instead of treating the client as a single, unified self, RT works with Resource States – the inner “parts” or “crew members” who each hold specific emotional learnings from earlier experiences.

In practice, a reconsolidation-informed RT advanced parts session often involves four stages:

  1. Bringing the State “on deck”
    The first step is helping the relevant Resource State come fully into conscious awareness, with its feelings, beliefs, images, and body sensations. The old story – “I’m not wanted”, “It’s not safe to need anyone”, “The only way to be loved is to be perfect” – needs to be alive in the room.
  2. Bridging to the Initial Sensitising Event (ISE)
    Next, we follow that State back to the Initial Sensitising Event where its core learning formed. Using RT’s structured treatment actions, we locate the scene where the State drew its painful conclusion about self, others, or the world.
  3. Creating a mismatch experience
    At the ISE, we then create a new emotional experience that directly contradicts the old learning. The hurt State may finally feel protected instead of abandoned, validated instead of shamed, or comforted instead of terrified. This is more than talking about safety – the child-state actually feels accompanied, defended, and believed.
  4. Consolidating new learning with other Parts
    Finally, we help other, better-able parts step forward so that, in similar situations in present-day life, a different part can take the wheel. The client begins to notice: “I respond differently now.” This is emotional rewiring rather than short-term coping.

What are the Key principles of memory reconsolidation?

Although the neurobiology is complex, the clinical principles are straightforward:

  1. Reactivate the emotional memory – the original learning must be vividly present.
  2. Elicit a mismatch experience – the client needs a felt experience that clearly contradicts the old belief.
  3. Allow new learning to consolidate – we slow down, stay with the shift, and let the nervous system absorb this new reality.
  4. Integrate into everyday life – we notice and reinforce new patterns as they show up in relationships, work, and self-care.

Used thoughtfully and ethically, these principles mean we are not only teaching clients to cope. We are helping the brain update its deepest emotional scripts.

What this means for your practice

For many clinicians, “evidence-informed” means more than quoting a study or adding a brain diagram to our slides. It is about aligning what we do in the room with what we know about how change actually happens carefully, collaboratively, and within our scope of practice.

As you consider your professional development for the year ahead, you might like to ask: where in my work am I offering true emotional rewiring, and where am I mainly helping clients manage?

If you are curious about parts-based, memory-re consolidation-aligned ways of working, Resource Therapy offers a clear, humane framework for doing just that. Training with Master clinicians Chris and Philipa (President of Resource Therapy International) at the Australia Resource Therapy Institute in 2026 is one pathway to deepen this work.

References

Ecker, B., Ticic, R., & Hulley, L. (2012). Unlocking the emotional brain: Eliminating symptoms at their roots using memory reconsolidation. New York, NY: Routledge.

Emmerson, G. (2014). Resource Therapy: The complete guide. Melbourne, Australia: Resource Therapy International.

Lane, R. D., Ryan, L., Nadel, L., & Greenberg, L. (2015). Memory reconsolidation, emotional arousal, and the process of change in psychotherapy: New insights from brain science. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 69, 47–59.

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