When you think back on therapy you’ve had, or maybe therapy you’re in right now, what stands out?
Many people tell me they loved their therapist’s kindness, or they felt safe, seen, and heard for the first time in years. Others share a very different experience: sessions felt surface-level, not connected, or the real issues – trauma, heartbreak, betrayal, or childhood wounds – never seemed to get airtime.
💭 So here’s our challenge to you:
What did you most want from therapy, and did you get it? Be brave, and say it.
- Did you wish your therapist had asked about your past?
- Did you feel your trauma was addressed – or avoided?
- Did you want more practical tools?
- Or simply someone to sit with you and really listen?
- Something else?
For Couples
If you’ve been in couples therapy, the answers can be even more layered:
- Did you want the therapist to take your side – or to truly stay neutral?
- Did you feel they understood the depth of your pain when conflict flared?
- Did the sessions get stuck in communication skills, or did they help you reach the real wounds beneath the fights?
- Is there more?
- Did you and your partner walk out closer… or further apart?
So many couples tell me:
“We just wanted hope.”
“We wanted to feel safe again.”
“We wanted to know if love could be rebuilt.”
Why Your Answers Matter
I train and supervise therapists across Australia and internationally. Time and again, therapists ask: “What do clients actually want from us?”
It’s one thing to study models and techniques. It’s another to hear directly from the people therapy is meant to help – you.
Your words, even a single sentence – could change how therapists are taught, how they listen, and how they show up for the next person who sits across from them.
Share Your Thoughts (Anonymously if You Wish)
👉 Pop your response in the comments below. If you’d prefer, you can write “Anonymous” instead of your name.
I’ll gather these insights (without identifying details) and share them with therapists in training, so your voice can help shape the future of therapy.
✨ Whether you’ve had years of therapy, just a few sessions, or you’re considering it for the first time, your perspective is invaluable.
So I’ll ask again. And this time, I dare and care you to answer:
What did you most want from therapy – as an individual or as a couple? And did it feel like you got it?
📌 Please note: Comments are for reflection and learning, not a substitute for professional support. If you need urgent help, reach out to your GP, a counsellor, or Lifeline (13 11 14 in Australia).
I have only ever really had the one therapist so not a great sample. But I came in feeling that my issues/history were probably going to come across as too complicated, my values and decisions too apparently contradictory, and I wasn’t confident we would even be able to identify key blocks let alone do anything about them. Although my own lack of confidence may well have undermined the process, nonetheless I did come out of it feeling that nothing had been done other than have a nice chat I could have had with anyone.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and appreciate your frankness. It makes sense you’d feel unsure walking in with a complicated history and wondering if it would even make sense to someone else. That’s a lot to carry.
It’s frustrating when therapy just feels like a nice chat and not much more. You deserve to feel that something is shifting, even in small ways.
Mostly, I just want to say you’re not alone in feeling this. Your story—and the way you tell it—really matters.