When Talk Isn’t Enough: How Parts Work Heals Couples After Trauma

TraumahealingTherapisttrainingworkshopwithinternationalguestinpersonSydney

When trauma enters the couple dynamic, talk therapy alone often isn’t enough. Integrating parts work, such as Resource Therapy alongside Imago, EFT, Gottman, PACT, art therapy, and somatic therapy, helps therapists reach beneath conflict to the wounded parts of each partner, restoring safety, connection, and repair.

Why Isn’t Talk Therapy Enough?

Even the most experienced couples therapist knows the moment when dialogue breaks down, when one partner shuts down, the other escalates, and connection feels out of reach. Beneath these reactions often lie unhealed trauma and protective parts that keep both partners stuck in familiar patterns of pain.

Traditional communication techniques, while valuable, cannot always touch the raw emotional injuries that live in the body and nervous system. As neuroscientist Daniel Siegel (2012) reminds us, “Integration is health.” Without integrating the fragmented self – those younger, reactive, or overwhelmed parts – relationships remain in a state of survival mode.

This is where parts work offers profound leverage.

How Parts Work Transforms the Couple Space

Approaches such as Resource Therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Ego State Therapy recognise that we all have multiple “selves” or Resource States with their own memories, emotions, and strategies for safety.

In couples therapy, these states interact across the relationship. One partner’s Vaded in Fear part might activate the other’s Retro Avoidant protector. The cycle continues until each state can be compassionately met, heard, and healed.

As Maureen McEvoy, MA, RCC (Canada), says:

“When trauma shows up in couples therapy, we can’t stay at the level of communication skills. We need to help each partner recognise and regulate the parts that get triggered in the dance.”

By giving these parts a voice through dialogue, imagination, somatic awareness, and creative interventions, therapists create a bridge between the internal world and the relational field. The result is genuine repair, not just behavioural change.

Integrating Attachment, Neuroscience, and Somatic Work

Research across attachment theory and neuroscience supports this integration.

  • Bowlby (1988) showed that early attachment ruptures shape adult intimacy.
  • Porges (2011) explained, through the polyvagal theory, how safety and connection depend on the regulation of the nervous system.
  • van der Kolk (2014) demonstrated that trauma is stored not only in memory but also in the body, requiring somatic processing.

Somatic and art therapies help externalise, and re-regulate these implicit memories. 

Through drawing, movement, or guided imagery, clients can express what words cannot. 

When integrated with parts-based awareness and relational attunement, these creative modalities become powerful vehicles for healing.

Inside the Workshop: Healing Trauma, Restoring Connection

🗓 8–9 November 2025

📍 Sydney – Crows Nest Community Centre

🎓 12 CPD hours (PACFA, ACA, AASW, ASCH, AAPI, APS)

👩🏫 Presenter: Maureen McEvoy, MA, RCC (Canada)

🟡 Sponsored by Australian Resource Therapy Institute (ARTI)

In this two-day exclusive training, Maureen McEvoy, an internationally respected trauma and Imago couples specialist of Canada, guides therapists through experiential, embodied learning. Participants will:

  • Understand the what, why and how of trauma-informed couples work
  • Practise mapping reactive and protective parts between partners
  • Learn somatic regulation and co-regulation strategies
  • Explore integration methods from Imago, Gottman, EFT, PACT, Art therapy, Somatic Therapy and parts work
  • Build confidence in managing high-intensity emotional sessions

Every exercise is grounded in safety, compassion, and practical skill-building. Numbers are strictly limited to ensure personalised attention and rich peer learning.

 You will leave not only inspired but equipped to use these approaches immediately in your own practice. Plus the added benefit of refreshing our energy, learning and community connection cup.

Imago Case Consultation Day – 10 November 2025

For those wanting to extend their learning, Maureen McEvoy, in association with the Australian Imago Relationship Therapy Association (AIRTA), will offer an Imago Case Consultation Day on Monday, 10 November 2025.

This optional day provides an opportunity for Imago therapists to:

  • Present their own cases for group consultation – videos welcome 
  • Receive direct feedback and supervision from Maureen
  • Deepen understanding of Imago theory in complex trauma cases
  • Explore how parts work and attachment models can complement the Imago dialogue

Why This Matters for Therapists

Working with couples in the relational space can be some of the most rewarding and confronting clinical work we do. When we can recognise the inner worlds operating beneath conflict, we move from blame to understanding, from fear to connection.

Parts work reminds us that no partner is the enemy; the true problem lies in the protective adaptations of wounded parts trying to stay safe. Healing begins when both partners can witness and integrate these inner dynamics with curiosity rather than defence.

Join Us in Sydney

Join us in Sydney this November to experience how trauma-informed parts work can transform your couples’ sessions.

👉 Secure your place today: Healing Trauma Nov 8/9

Maureen, and I can’t wait to meet you there!

References

Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Parent–child attachment and healthy human development. New York, Basic Books.

Emmerson, G., & Essing, C. (2025). Therapist Gold: Treating fear-based trauma and attachment trauma. Melbourne, Australia: Old Golden Point Press.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.

Siegel, D. J. (2012). The pocket guide to interpersonal neurobiology: An integrative handbook of the mind. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.

van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. New York: Viking.

Why This November Could Change the Way You Work With Couples Forever

wintersavinghealingtraumacouplestrherapy

For the first time in years, Canadian trauma and couples therapy educator Maureen McEvoy is coming to Sydney – and there’s a Winter Special that ends 31 August.

If you’ve ever found yourself in a couple’s session where emotions spiral, histories collide, and past trauma takes over the room, you’re not alone. Even with the best models – Imago, EFT, EMDR, Gottman, PACT, Schema – it’s easy to feel under-prepared when trauma shows up between partners.


The Gap Most Couples Therapists Face

Many highly skilled couples therapists feel confident with structured interventions – until trauma histories surface. Suddenly, the conversation isn’t about who forgot to take out the rubbish; it’s about abandonment, loss, and deep-seated fear.

Without a clear, integrated trauma framework for couples work, progress can stall. Clients leave sessions feeling misunderstood, and therapists leave feeling drained.


Why Learn from Maureen McEvoy?

Maureen has spent over 30 years bridging the worlds of trauma recovery and couples therapy. As a Senior Faculty member of Imago Relationships North America, she’s trained thousands of therapists internationally to confidently navigate the most challenging moments in couples work.

This November, in a rare Australian appearance, she’s bringing her expertise to a two-day, CPD-approved workshop hosted by the Australian Resource Therapy Institute.


What You’ll Walk Away With

In Healing Trauma, Restoring Connection – A Trauma-Informed Approach to Couples Therapy, you’ll learn how to:

  • Recognise trauma patterns in couples’ dynamics
  • Build safety and trust in high-intensity sessions
  • Use somatic and parts work tools for real-time regulation
  • Integrate trauma-informed strategies into your preferred couples therapy model
  • Adapt interventions to avoid re-traumatisation and promote reconnection

The Winter Special – Ends 31 August

Right now, you can secure your place at the Special Winter Rate of $975.
On 1 September, the price moves to the September Saver rate of $995, then to $1100 Standard, and finally $1250 for the last release.

This special is our way of rewarding early action-takers – the therapists who know they want in, and don’t want to miss a rare learning opportunity.


Join Us in Sydney – 8–9 November 2025

📅 Dates: 8–9 November 2025
📍 Venue: Crows Nest Community Centre, Sydney
🎓 Eligible for 12 CPD Hours – PACFA, ACA, ASCH, AASW, AAPI, APS Members
🔗 More info & booking: resourcetherapy.com.au/professional-training/master-classes

If you’ve been thinking about sharpening your skills for those moments when trauma shows up in couples work, this is your chance.
Join us, meet Maureen, and leave with tools you’ll use for the rest of your career.


💔 When a Kiss-Cam Turns Into a Trauma Trigger: What Therapists Can Learn from the Coldplay Scandal

Promotional image for “Healing Trauma, Restoring Connection” – a CPD training for therapists working with trauma in couples, hosted by ARTI.

🟡 Featured Article – Australian Resource Therapy Institute
🎓 CPD Workshop Opportunity Below

At a recent Coldplay concert, what should have been a light-hearted kiss-cam moment turned into a viral scandal. A well-known CEO and a senior colleague, reportedly involved in a workplace affair, were caught in an embrace. Their startled reaction—pulling away, awkward body language, visible discomfort—was beamed onto screens, recorded by attendees, and broadcast across social media. Within days, it triggered a public relations crisis, an investigation, and eventual resignations.

While the internet debated motives and morality, those of us trained in trauma saw something else:
a freeze response, public shame, internal parts in conflict, and a nervous system under threat.

This moment offers a powerful teaching tool for trauma-informed therapists—especially those working with couples.


👀 What Was Really Happening?

Many viewers saw “guilt” or “caught in the act.” But clinically, what we witnessed looked more like:

  • A protective part startled into shutdown
  • A shamed part recoiling in real-time
  • A nervous system overwhelmed by unexpected exposure

This is the language of trauma. And our clients bring versions of this into the room every week.


💔 Public Scandal, Private Injury

Whether or not an affair occurred is secondary. The deeper lesson is that many couples live with:

  • Secrets they cannot name
  • Shame they cannot bear
  • Injuries they cannot repair

And when those injuries surface—sometimes through betrayal, sometimes through conflict or emotional neglect—therapists must know how to regulate, attune, and navigate the emotional terrain.


🧩 This Is Where Many Therapists Get Stuck

Even experienced clinicians report:

  • “I don’t know how to help when one partner freezes or rages.”
  • “I feel caught in the middle when betrayal enters the room.”
  • “They talk, but nothing shifts emotionally or somatically.”

The problem is not your skill. It is the absence of trauma-integrated training in couples therapy.


🎓 That’s Exactly Why This Workshop Exists

If you’ve ever felt unequipped, overwhelmed, or uncertain when trauma showed up in the couple dynamic, we invite you to join:

🧠 Healing Trauma, Restoring Connection
A two-day in-person CPD training with trauma therapist and educator Maureen McEvoy
📍 Crows Nest Community Centre, Sydney
🗓️ 8–9 November 2025
🎓 Sponsored by the Australian Resource Therapy Institute

You’ll learn:

  • How to identify protective and wounded parts in real time
  • How to safely work with trauma ruptures in the couple system
  • How to repair shame and restore connection – without re-traumatising
  • Tools that blend parts work, Imago work, somatic therapy, narrative therapy, and attachment

This is not a theoretical training – it is clinical, practical, and empowering.


✅ Learn to Hold What the World Judges

When public shame erupts, most people run or attack.
As trauma therapists, we learn to sit with it.
To name the pain, anchor the system, and begin repair.

🛳️ Join us. Be the therapist who knows what to do when trauma walks into the room.
🔗 Register now 🧠 Healing Trauma, Restoring Connection in person, Sydney Workshop

PS personal note from Philipa

I’ve worked with many couples facing moments like this—whether it’s betrayal, confusion, or emotional disconnection. These are some of the most painful moments in a relationship… but they can also be the doorway to deeper understanding and growth.

If this post resonated with you, please know help is available. You do not have to figure this out alone.

With warmth and care,
Philipa Thornton
Registered Psychologist & Couples Therapist
www.marriageworks.com.au

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