Has Your Therapist Really Heard Your Story?

A sunset sky fades from orange to deep purple over a calm ocean. Bold cream text reads: “Did your therapist really hear you?” with a thinking face emoji placed beside the words. The design feels warm, reflective, and inviting, evoking curiosity and self-reflection.

When you think back on therapy you’ve had, or maybe therapy you’re in right now, what stands out?

Many people tell me they loved their therapist’s kindness, or they felt safe, seen, and heard for the first time in years. Others share a very different experience: sessions felt surface-level, not connected, or the real issues – trauma, heartbreak, betrayal, or childhood wounds – never seemed to get airtime.

💭 So here’s our challenge to you:
What did you most want from therapy, and did you get it? Be brave, and say it.

  • Did you wish your therapist had asked about your past?
  • Did you feel your trauma was addressed – or avoided?
  • Did you want more practical tools?
  • Or simply someone to sit with you and really listen?
  • Something else?

For Couples

If you’ve been in couples therapy, the answers can be even more layered:

  • Did you want the therapist to take your side – or to truly stay neutral?
  • Did you feel they understood the depth of your pain when conflict flared?
  • Did the sessions get stuck in communication skills, or did they help you reach the real wounds beneath the fights?
  • Is there more?
  • Did you and your partner walk out closer… or further apart?

So many couples tell me:
“We just wanted hope.”
“We wanted to feel safe again.”
“We wanted to know if love could be rebuilt.”


Why Your Answers Matter

I train and supervise therapists across Australia and internationally. Time and again, therapists ask: “What do clients actually want from us?”

It’s one thing to study models and techniques. It’s another to hear directly from the people therapy is meant to help – you.

Your words, even a single sentence – could change how therapists are taught, how they listen, and how they show up for the next person who sits across from them.


Share Your Thoughts (Anonymously if You Wish)

👉 Pop your response in the comments below. If you’d prefer, you can write “Anonymous” instead of your name.

I’ll gather these insights (without identifying details) and share them with therapists in training, so your voice can help shape the future of therapy.


✨ Whether you’ve had years of therapy, just a few sessions, or you’re considering it for the first time, your perspective is invaluable.

So I’ll ask again. And this time, I dare and care you to answer:
What did you most want from therapy – as an individual or as a couple? And did it feel like you got it?


📌 Please note: Comments are for reflection and learning, not a substitute for professional support. If you need urgent help, reach out to your GP, a counsellor, or Lifeline (13 11 14 in Australia).


💔 When a Kiss-Cam Turns Into a Trauma Trigger: What Therapists Can Learn from the Coldplay Scandal

Promotional image for “Healing Trauma, Restoring Connection” – a CPD training for therapists working with trauma in couples, hosted by ARTI.

🟡 Featured Article – Australian Resource Therapy Institute
🎓 CPD Workshop Opportunity Below

At a recent Coldplay concert, what should have been a light-hearted kiss-cam moment turned into a viral scandal. A well-known CEO and a senior colleague, reportedly involved in a workplace affair, were caught in an embrace. Their startled reaction—pulling away, awkward body language, visible discomfort—was beamed onto screens, recorded by attendees, and broadcast across social media. Within days, it triggered a public relations crisis, an investigation, and eventual resignations.

While the internet debated motives and morality, those of us trained in trauma saw something else:
a freeze response, public shame, internal parts in conflict, and a nervous system under threat.

This moment offers a powerful teaching tool for trauma-informed therapists—especially those working with couples.


👀 What Was Really Happening?

Many viewers saw “guilt” or “caught in the act.” But clinically, what we witnessed looked more like:

  • A protective part startled into shutdown
  • A shamed part recoiling in real-time
  • A nervous system overwhelmed by unexpected exposure

This is the language of trauma. And our clients bring versions of this into the room every week.


💔 Public Scandal, Private Injury

Whether or not an affair occurred is secondary. The deeper lesson is that many couples live with:

  • Secrets they cannot name
  • Shame they cannot bear
  • Injuries they cannot repair

And when those injuries surface—sometimes through betrayal, sometimes through conflict or emotional neglect—therapists must know how to regulate, attune, and navigate the emotional terrain.


🧩 This Is Where Many Therapists Get Stuck

Even experienced clinicians report:

  • “I don’t know how to help when one partner freezes or rages.”
  • “I feel caught in the middle when betrayal enters the room.”
  • “They talk, but nothing shifts emotionally or somatically.”

The problem is not your skill. It is the absence of trauma-integrated training in couples therapy.


🎓 That’s Exactly Why This Workshop Exists

If you’ve ever felt unequipped, overwhelmed, or uncertain when trauma showed up in the couple dynamic, we invite you to join:

🧠 Healing Trauma, Restoring Connection
A two-day in-person CPD training with trauma therapist and educator Maureen McEvoy
📍 Crows Nest Community Centre, Sydney
🗓️ 8–9 November 2025
🎓 Sponsored by the Australian Resource Therapy Institute

You’ll learn:

  • How to identify protective and wounded parts in real time
  • How to safely work with trauma ruptures in the couple system
  • How to repair shame and restore connection – without re-traumatising
  • Tools that blend parts work, Imago work, somatic therapy, narrative therapy, and attachment

This is not a theoretical training – it is clinical, practical, and empowering.


✅ Learn to Hold What the World Judges

When public shame erupts, most people run or attack.
As trauma therapists, we learn to sit with it.
To name the pain, anchor the system, and begin repair.

🛳️ Join us. Be the therapist who knows what to do when trauma walks into the room.
🔗 Register now 🧠 Healing Trauma, Restoring Connection in person, Sydney Workshop

PS personal note from Philipa

I’ve worked with many couples facing moments like this—whether it’s betrayal, confusion, or emotional disconnection. These are some of the most painful moments in a relationship… but they can also be the doorway to deeper understanding and growth.

If this post resonated with you, please know help is available. You do not have to figure this out alone.

With warmth and care,
Philipa Thornton
Registered Psychologist & Couples Therapist
www.marriageworks.com.au

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