Today my gorgeous friend Alison sent me a blast form the past picture. We had the good fortune to attend the EMDR Conference 4 years ago in Italy together! I fell in love with Milan.
Such a beautiful city.
The Conference was amazing. Hat’s off to EMDR Europe. I loved Carole Forgash’s plenary. She introduced us to the ACE study and how important it is to be trauma informed. We need to be aware outcomes of childhood adversity – the physical, emotional, societal, relational, spiritual and psychological .
Every Clinician needs to know about the ACE Research here is a YouTube video ( heads up it made me sigh and brought a tears.)
I can’t say enjoy but will say I hope you watch it. You care, I know you do and want to be aware.
I’ve just seen the movie Rocketman at my local the Ritz. I loved it. I highly recommend it. This picture is a biopic/fantasy of Elton John’s early life and career. Although I am not a huge fan but I do enjoy Elton’s music. My foot was tapping away in the musical elements. Its very clear how talented a performer he is and the star of the show Taren Egerton. Taren delivers a knock out performance. For an hour or so we are transported on a fantastical journey. Catching a glimpse into another world.
Impressing upon us the importance of our formative years and their impact our future selves.
The show dramatically brought home to me how our personality Parts ( our Resource States that make us up and are physical neural connections, formed in childhood) drive everything in our lives.
From Pleasure, Failure, Success, Pain, Perseverance and Progress!
Please let me explain.
We meet young 7 year old Reginald Dwight who’s Dad is unable to show any love or affection to his young son. Young Elton yearns for a hug and unconditional love.
In Resource Therapy terms he will have a Part Vaded in Rejection. We see Dad is caught up in his bitterness towards his wife whom he feels trapped him with pregnancy.
Their relationship is woeful to say the least. They certainly could have down with some marital therapy! Of course I’d recommend it to all !https://MarriageWorks.com.au
Reggie’s Mum’s world orbits around herself and her boyfriend/s. Her son’s needs and uniqueness are taken for granted and overlooked. Again this shows how as a child our Personality Parts can become Vaded in Rejection.
I am not a parent blamer by the way – there is a reason we do everything.
Grandma is a shining light for young Reggie showing him unconditional acceptance, practical and emotional support.
The adult Elton’s longing for love sees him involved with people who are very like his mother and father. Self absorbed and only looking out for themselves, cold and distant.
Some of us will relate!
Naturally we have a deep seated need for love and connection.
Often we will pay the price.
Accepting crumbs of affection, slices of niceness, lashed with layers of disapproval. It’s familiar and what we are used to. Those Parts are starved of love. Anything is better than nothing!
Like Elton our wiser mature adult Resources can get sidelined. He has to see how he is being used by his lover many times before an angry Part helps him take charge. Pretty powerfully – all our Parts are there to help us on our life journey.
Our emotional Parts yearn for love and acceptance.
This is hardwired into us and helps us survive in the world. When we don’t receive nurturance which is necessary to our survival and emotional well being.
Life can go off into the ditch causing a crisis. We may get other Parts who step in to avoid the overwhelming emptiness, loneliness and upset as in the case of addictive behaviors or excessive anger. We see this played out in Elton’s career and his relationships.
In Resource Therapy (RT) we believe our Parts, even those acting out are there to help us.
RT is a strength based model of psychotherapy. Naturally it is a respectful trauma-informed and client centred psychological therapy.
We watch Elton’s showman Resource State come to life on stage in front of his fans. Fully expressing his talents.
Elton’s Showman dresses the part in the most amazing costumes. He goes on to entertain those of us in the movie theatre and his live audience. This Showman Resource personality part has such incredible energy and dynamism.
Still Parts of Elton feel unworthy.
Those parts start to drown out the negative emotions in order to cope with alcohol, drugs, sex, over-shopping, binge eating, self sabotage, suicidality and anger. Those younger inner child parts are lost in the depths. There is a scene in the movie which is so poignant as he dives into his younger self.
He embarks on his recovery sobriety journey. Here he meets and gives his inner child Parts the unconditional love and a beautiful big hug. There’s a group therapy 12 Step meeting scene where we get to witness his re-connection with himself. I love this scene!
Resource Therapists call out a part to be there on the inside for emotional support and unconditional love for these younger parts needs to be met.
I love this process. So empowering and rewarding for a person to know and feel this younger Part finally getting the loving, hugging and sanctuary it truly deserves. This happens after we have released the Parts perception of rejection, abandonment, disappointment and hurt related to the less than loving experiences.
It’s truly freeing and humbling, I often have a tear of joy in my eye.
I love the liberation within a Resource Therapy session as you have a detailed map for dealing with all the emotions and behaviours respectfully.
Remember we have our next – Resourcing Clients Foundation Course August 18/19 Sydney click here https://resourcetherapy.com.au/resource-therapy-foundation-training-online-philipa-thornton-sydney/
Love to hear your thoughts, observations – please drop a comment in the box below. Thanks for reading!
While CBT is useful for dealing with unhelpful thoughts, Resource Therapy is spectacular in healing Fear, Anxiety, Extreme Anger, Hurt, Grief, Shame and Disappointment.
As we know fear can cripple us.
It traps us.
Keeping us locked inside our homes, our hearts and our minds. Anxiety threatens us daily – how good would it be to be free of this chronic condition?
We can have unhealthy anger and rage. Research tells us it is good to express our emotions. Yet erupting as a volcano heightens not only our blood pressure but those around us. Creating a fearful environment where loved walk on eggshells.
Hurt can stop us from finding love and healthy relationships.
We stay home Saturday night again.
Safe.
Filled with hungry longing and a nagging loneliness.
We are born to share our worlds and hearts with others.
Grief can sneak up and trap us in a sadness spiral. We are left not knowing or have unanswered or unresolved relationships. Tears flood.
We feel stuck in this loop unable to move to a healthier connection with our past, weighted down in the if only’s, the what it’s, I should have’s.
Shame as we know from Brene Brown’ TedX talks are the silent epidemic of our modern age.
Secretly behind many forms of broken behavior. Resource Therapy gently confronts Shame and Guilt head on. Years of pain relieved rapidly and respectfully.
Disappointment orginates from those cognitive distortions we hold. Where our expectations have taken a plunge. We feel like a failure through job loss, relationship breakdown, redundancy, business failure. This emotion weights us down like a diving belt. Submerging us from life. We drown in plain sight.
Resource Therapy gives us an easily learnt framework for treating these emotions. You will know exactly what steps to take when your clients are disabled by these unhelpful emotions.
In a little of five minutes I share with you how Resource Therapy gets results on the 5 crippling emotions when they overwhelm us. Here’s the YouTube from my Resource Therapy Channel just click the link to go there now: