Potential trigger warning for those of us or have loved ones who have been victimized. Self care please.
I am compelled to share the amazing Sue Black’s presentation on using science to capture child abusers. Both saddening, maddening, and hopeful the first five minutes sums up what many young people have experienced. The injustice of an unholy kind with the initial hurt and further revictimization through the criminal justice system.
With strong scientific evidence, a jury did not convict a paedophile. Unbelievable. The possible reason given the survivor was not expressing emotion and crying in the courtroom.
So what gives?
Psychology, knows people with trauma will have a myriad of responses for our survival. These are hard-wired into our nervous systems and beyond conscious control in the main.
Basically, we are all animals and will respond to threats to our safety with the fight, flight, freeze or responses. Ever seen a cat or predator animal chasing prey? Mice will play dead – known as tonic immobility. This is actually a case of overwhelm, exactly what the teenager may have been experiencing. Parts of us take over to survive.
Someone who is petrified ( even the word gives us a clue) will become numb and shut down as a natural safety response. We freeze, we can’t cry or move as our body’s defense system takes over.
Fight is often not a possibility for our young people given the sheer size differences. Besides if it’s happening in your bedroom where can you run to? Let’s not forget the children are expected in many cultures to listen and obey adults without question.
The sad fact is the perpetrator is most likely known to the child. Forget stranger danger it’s a complete myth as the statistics tell us in black and white. This unholy crime happens while we are in the care of those who should care and protect us from harm. Yes it is counterintuitive and I think that’s why we are in a sort of community denial around child abuse.
The survivor may have told someone, they may not have been believed. Mind you it is never the child’s responsibility to share. Little people do not have the cognitive development required and later on believe that because it’s in their past, what’s the point?
Listen to the first five minutes. I have had many clients tell with those who should protect and get no response or worse still side with the perpetrator and shun the victim. I suspect intergenerational trauma is often at play.
I despaired hearing the court outcome with this young woman’s bravery. Sadly I have heard similar experiences in my many years as a therapist. In Resource Therapy we empower and heal rather than explore for details.
Modern technology may provide an answer, as Sue share “stop the theft of childhood.” Take care of our precious children, keep them safe. Believe them and love them.
Let’s stop only looking at the victim and turn our gaze onto the predators in our midst for prevention.